Ach Cailìn

So, I have this really small (big) obsession with this small show called General Hospital. The writing is awesome for a soap opera, I can't be certain about the acting at times but the writing is good. I started watching it when I was 13 and have been watching it ever since. The thing that sucks about it, though, is that I can't watch anything from before I was 13. I mean, all shows now come out on DVD, no matter how shitty it is. But you can't get any soaps on DVD so i can't watch anything that happened before, and it drives me insane.

One of my favourite characters is Sonny, Maurice Benard in real life. I found his "offical website" and it has clips of his shows dating back to 1993 (when he started). I'm so excited! I have a feeling I'll be up ALL night!

http://mbtv.sosugary.com/category_home.php?cid=TV: General Hospital

I'm feeling really shitty these days. I'm not really sure why. I am angry and irritable. I can't sleep, I can't eat properly. I just don't...feel right. Everything seems to fragile to me, everything so breakable and I feel on edge. Stress is a huge factor in my life and I find myself taking my anger out on the people I love the most. I'm feeling ashamed and sad, and just generally...bad. I hate feeling like this.
It's probably my stress level and the weather, but I hate this feeling. I want it all to go away. I wish I could sleep winter away and wake up in the spring. If only....

Hey Everyone,

So, for any of you who read yesterday's post, I apologize. I was upset, and as it started as a simple thought it turned into a gigantic rant that should not have been published. I was mad and needed a place to vent. I didn't realize everyone would get it. I pressed a wrong button and the link was sent to people and it should not have been.

I feel really horrible for the things I said, considering they weren't completely true. I mean, in my angry mind that's what I was seeing, but I have to admit that things aren't like that. I was extremely angry, not at anyone in particular but I was looking for someone to blame.

I have taken down yesterday's post so it will not longer be available and that is that.

Last night was probably the best New Years Eve I've had since I got clean. We went out to Upper Canada Village, which was pretty awesome and I'm totally going back in the summer. I can't wait to see all the buildings and stuff. They only have a couple buildings open and we didn't get a chance to see them. We went on his toy train ride that took us..well...in a really boring circle.
Afterwards, we rang in the New Year at Perkins. My dad came. It was really nice to be able to celebrate the New Year with my dad. I feel like we're getting a lot closer these days, which is really awesome. I like my dad, he's pretty cool.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!